I love spending time at home. I am definitely a home body and I guess I always will, however it is something that I struggle with. Society has something different to say and sometimes it can feel like you are the boring one because your ideal night doesn't involve alcohol or attending party after party. As you get older it seems to be more acceptable for people to choose to stay in during the weekend but as a 18 year old it is very different. I have a very shy and introverted personality so when I decide to go out it's because I really want to but sometimes being alone and surrounded by your own company is all I desire.
I've talked on my blog before about how I don't drink so naturally I'm not seen as the sole of the party. This makes me feel paranoid and I feel people are avoiding me because I can seem a little cold or constantly pissed off (believe me that's just my face.) I do find it hard to interact with new people and I am very guarded so I'm probably not the easiest to talk to. However that doesn't mean I don't like talking to new people, it just means it may take a little longer for me to open up. My personality traits can sometimes get me down especially when I see others who can talk and have fun with strangers so naturally. My sister for instance is a lot more out going than me and sometimes it really makes me question myself and I stupidly start comparing myself to her, wondering do other people think I am boring and stuck up compared to her when in reality I am just a little bit more reserved.
Doubt and anxiety can really influence my reservations and sub consciencely I am fearful that someone may not like me so I instantly bottle up because in a strange way I think if they don't know what I'm like they can't judge me when in reality they still will. I don't really know what I'm trying to say in this post but it was just something I wanted to discuss and see whether it's something that anyone else experiences.